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You have a profound and lasting effect on your kids.
As your children grow, some of their behaviours may be challenging - ask any Dad!
If your child is crying or upset and you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to leave your child in a safe place and take a break.
Babies and young children can be victims of an injury frequently referred to as Shaken Baby Syndrome. It doesn't just happen to babies. Shaking an infant, even up to age five, can damage their brains and cause death or serious injury. Shaking is actually more likely to cause brain injury than hitting with the same force.
People who would never dream of hitting their child may think nothing of telling a toddler to "Stop or I'll shake some sense into you."
One action of anger can last a lifetime.
In the heat of a moment, one hard shaking or hit to a child's head can lead to:
- Brain damage
- Blindness
- Physical and learning disabilities
- Broken and dislocated bones
- Death
The next time everyday pressures build up to the point where you feel like lashing out - STOP! Try any of these simple alternatives. You'll feel better….and so will your child.
- Take a deep breath… and another. Then remember you are the adult.
- Close your eyes and imagine you're hearing what your child is about to hear.
- Press your lips together and count to ten… or better yet, to 20.
- Put your child in a safe place, like a playpen or bedroom, and leave the room for awhile. Check on your child every few minutes.
- Put your child in a chair (remember this rule: one minute in the chair for each year of age)
- Put yourself in a chair. Think about why you are angry; is it your child, or is your child simply a convenient target for your anger?
- Phone a friend.
- If someone can watch the children, go outside and take a walk.
- Splash cold water on your face.
- Hug a pillow.
- Turn on some music. Maybe even sing along. Watch tv, exercise or just relax.
Calm yourself before returning to your child.
There are things you can do to minimize the chances of getting really frustrated.
| If your child is doing… |
Try… |
| Night Crying |
- Eliminate long, daytime naps.
- Allow for plenty of physical activity during day, outside if possible.
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| Cry and upset when you are leaving them with another caregiver |
- Rehearse separations by playing peek a boo and hide and seek etc.
- Allow for brief periods of care taken by another adult.
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| Playing roughly, loudly or getting into things that aren't safe |
- Have one room (or playpen for younger children) where they can play safely without you having to constantly monitor them.
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| Refusing to do what needs to be done (e.g. go to bed, eat a meal) |
- Give your child limited choices when appropriate. For example, keep to routines such as bedtimes with consistency, but give real choices at meals such as offering choice of which plate to use, which glass to drink from, raw or cooked vegetables etc.
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| Won't eat |
- Set good mealtime routines.
- Reduce milk/juice intake in between meals
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| Refusing to potty train |
- Make sure the child is ready before you try (around age 2)
- Don't punish for any aspects of toilet training.
- It's your child's body, trust them to learn its natural functions.
- Be supportive, sympathetic and kind.
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More Information & Contact
For more information please call the health unit for more information at 519.482.3416 or toll free at 1.877.837.6143.
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Listen to Public Health Nurse Theresa Wammes-Glavin talk with CKNX host Bryan Allen about Dads Make a Difference.